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Say What? Computer Jargon Special

23 May 2006

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On a lighter and more entertaining note, May's 'Say What' highlights some of the funnier computer lingo out there.

"You reckon that beta baby has some digital jewelry to share with my code monkey? He needs to get rid of his drunk mouse."


Alpha geek: The most technically inclined person in an office.

Banana problem: A business project that doesn’t need much technical expertise. “A big dumb gorilla could do it.”

Beta baby: The child of a “high-tech” professional born after 1995.

Bio-break: A techie’s way of saying he/she’s going to the toilet.

Cobweb site: A webpage that hasn’t been updated in a very long time.

Code monkey: Anyone who writes code for a living - sometimes implying that the job is a menial one.

Cybertourist: Someone who surfs the web only on weekends or holidays. Cybertourists are know to clog the internet due to their sheer numbers.

Digital jewelry: The high-tech devices that people wear, including mobile phones, pagers and iPods. These products are often marketed as fashion statements.

Drunk mouse: You have a drunk mouse when your screen pointer moves irregularly. Often happens when there’s dirt around the trackball of your mouse. Thank goodness for the optical mouse.

Egosurfing: Surfing the net looking for mention of your own name.

Flame war: An online heated debate that usually results into a series of personal attacks, rather than a discussion.

Freshness: How up-to-date a search engine’s database is.

Looky-loo: Someone who visits online shopping sites but never buys anything.

Mouse potato: The online version of a couch potato.

Netizen: An experienced Internet user or someone who spends quite a bit of time online—a citizen of the net.

Open-collar workers: People who telecommute or work from home.

Trojan Horse: A computer virus evilly disguised as a program. Often a user will download a program as they think it’s something else, and when they open it the Trojan erases important files or causes other major problems.

Word-of-mouse: Information or gossip spread online, through email, blogs or news postings.

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